The Ghost That Haunts Me

       The Ghost That Haunts Me

Thirteen years and she's still here
   This Angel-Witch I've always feared
Her beauty far too much to grasp—
    Her hold on me leaves me gasping
For the Breath I wish I had
     But cannot know without her asking—

...Through all these tears, she still swims
     In the ebbing currents of my whim
Her anxious stare is holding strong
     Knowing that I've long been longing
For this thing to finally Be—
     But she like me,              

           ...is shy,
                   …so we've been waiting—

For a time when all is right
     When all is silent, full of Night
For when the moon is overhead
     Drenching us in its violent light—

Oh keep me down! thou silent one!
     My frown has injured more than none
I wish to hide and ride the rays
     Of your reflected, ancient sun.

And mother, mother,—hold thy mirror
     Up for me while I'm crying—
Let me see my Foreign shame
     To set me free from Idle game.

Oh dearest lover: don't you see her?!
     There she stares, by the window
Pale and lonely, in the light
     Of her source, the Ancient Widow.

Hellish sounds now ring throughout—
     The world of Thought, the world of Doubt
The Angels hide, and I would too
     If I were in their shoes.....

But alas!—I envy wings!—
     And so have invented, many things—
After all these years, she still waits
     As I learn to live with my Debates

And she protects me as I dream
     And holds my hand while I am Flying
Through the land of Lucid sleep
     Gently suggesting that I am Dying—

—And to this I laugh!—
     But Scream within—
From the Ghost within us
     We'll forever run!

                       
           .Philadelphia.
                .2017.